I was flipping through the latest Woman’s Day magazine while I was in line at the supermarket yesterday. You see, I like to read the advice column… I never know when I find something that actually applies to me that I can put into use. It’s cheaper than therapy…
I came across some real advice worth taking that could help every woman. I think…
Here is the actual letter that someone wrote to Woman’s Day asking for advice.
Dear Woman’s Day,
I recently found a wonderful man on an internet dating site. ‘I want an Australian husband and I’ve decided you will be it,’ was my pick-up line and it worked. We’ve been talking for about a year now and although we’ve never met face to face I know that I have found the love of my life. My problem is I have recently found out that he has asked an Australian girl out on a date. I can’t lose this man… not now when I am so close. What can I do to keep my man – and make sure he never, ever strays?
From Woman in Foreign Country
Dear Woman in Foreign Country,
If you are engaged to Shane Warne then my best advice is to run… run for the hills honey. This guy is a serial philanderer. Seriously, Google Shane Warne – you will find a picture of a douche-bag with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, a wicket in one hand and his other wicket in the other (if you know what I mean).
That being said, if it’s not Shane Warne hang onto him honey! Let’s face it, this is your last hope. You are scraping the bottom of the barrel here and if you can’t get this one down the aisle, you will forever be a spinster. It’s every woman’s dream to land a mail order husband – especially one as quickly as you have. So don’t give up now.
Cesar Millan says you should establish rules, boundaries and limitations. And you can do that simply with a stun gun. This useful gun will keep your man in check every time he casts his eye elsewhere. Aim for his testicles to show him who the pack leader is. To correct the behavior you should only zap him when he’s actually looking at another woman.
In the meantime… have that other woman killed.
Love Woman’s Day
As you can see ladies it’s really important to listen to Cesar Millan… he knows his stuff. And if your looking for advice worth taking you can never go past the Dog Whisperer.